


Fail-Me-Not

by historiareiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, as long as she has chosen him herself and nobody forced it on her, he's not eren but he's cool i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 23:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15617424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/historiareiss/pseuds/historiareiss
Summary: This is kind of a prequel to "Yes, Your Majesty" in which Historia makes up her mind about the future father of her child.





	Fail-Me-Not

_Now. It must happen now. It cannot wait_.

Historia had been lingering and hesitating on the final choice for a while now, and yet the clock ticking incessantly in her mind would not fail to remind her that now it was the time to act.

Paradis needed this and she could not prioritize her own feelings over the common good of her people.

Besides... If she acted before the military could, she wouldn't need to devour Zeke Jäger just yet.

She didn't want to devour anyone, to be sure. She wasn't as brave as Frieda was. The prospect of eating another human being only to inherit their power frightened her more than becoming the mother of the next generation of the Reiss family did.

In the end, there were only so many ways a coward like her could make herself useful, and this was one.

So she had made up her mind and went to him, of all people.

He was just where she was sure to find him; on the orphanage she built herself, working as hard as ever. He was a simple man, constantly seeking absolution for his sins.  
But weren't they all sinners, the Eldians? Ymir's Subjects, all festering with sin just for the mere fact of being born? How was he any different from the rest of them?

He struck her because the only forgiveness he sought was hers, and no matter how many times she had told him that she forgave him long ago, his conscience still wouldn't find rest.

He used to throw rocks at her, and bully her, and revile her for being an aloof child, always on her own, melancholy and lonely. But he wasn't the only one who did that to her, was he?  
Where were all the others? Why didn't they apologize and ask for forgiveness just like he had done? Why didn't they atone for their sins through labor and penitence like he was doing?

It was not usual, getting over one's pride, and the man who could find goodness in his own heart after much meditation had certainly to be acknowledged.

But that wasn't the only reason she had chosen him.

“Your Majesty.”

He dropped the pitchfork he was carrying and immediately fell to his knees at the sight of her on the barn's threshold. Then she summoned him inside the manor, in order to speak to him privately.

“How do the children fare? I am so sorry I have had to stay away for such a long time and not see for myself.”

Historia could see that he was ill at ease and bewildered in that setting. He had never chanced to set foot in the huge manor where she stayed while in the countryside, and even now that he was there, he still would deem himself unworthy of being admitted to the Queen's own residence.

Eventually, in the case that he accepted her hazardous proposal, they would have to move to a more modest lodging, where he would feel more at home.

“They're well, Your Majesty. They miss you and ask about you day and night, though. But we all know that you have greater duties to tend to in the Capitol, and that you can't be bothered with the likes of us.”

He said humbly, not daring to raise his gaze from the ground, until Historia prompted him to do so.

“These orphans are more precious to me than you think. They are like myself when I had no father, and my estranged mother would not even allow me into her presence.  
All I had was my sister, and the books she brought me. But they're luckier than I ever was because they have each other now...”  
Her thoughts drifted off to some mysterious and forlorn shore where nobody could follow her.

She was often like that when no one else was around, unreadable and inexplicably miserable.

The man bit down his lip then, as regret and guilt began to build up in his chest.

“My Queen...”

“ _Please_.” She cut him off at once, regaining her train of thought. “Allow me to speak first. You probably won't like what I am about to ask of you one speck.  
You and I are more similar than we know, always looking for a way to atone for what we've done. And I am aware that this is a lot to ask from someone, but you are the only one I could think of.”

He let her speak as she tried not to omit any important information in her lengthy recount. She thought he should know everything, the whole thing, including all the gruesome and grotesque details of it.

When she finished, he was at loss for words, dazed and confused by her account, but not scared. In fact, there was not one single ghost of fear in him, unlike Historia herself, who was scared half to death by the fate she was called to enact.

She could tell he did miss some key parts of the Hizuru plan, but he still did not care, and when his turn to speak came, he did not waver.

“I am not worthy of such honor. You could have chosen among thousands of better candidates to continue the Reiss' line, and yet you still chose me. As your humble servant, I can only accept this chance you have given me to earn your respect and forgiveness with pride and humility, but Historia... what will the government say? You are the Queen... and I am a nobody. They will go against your choice if it turns out to be me. We are not even married, unless...”

“We are going to stay that way. There is no reason for us to marry in order to produce healthy heirs, is there?” She replied coolly, then turned to the window pane, where the sun was setting, and covering the world in a red glow. “As per being a nobody... You don't have to worry about that. The government thinks I am a useless nobody as well, for that matter.  
And besides, I have the full authority of choosing who's going to give me my heirs.” She smiled bitterly, but he could not have seen it from where he was standing.

“In that case... I am yours to command.”

“I am not as steadfast on this as I should be. I know what part I have to play in all this, and yet I am scared.” Historia Reiss confessed in a choked sob, ashamed.  
“So I will need you to be steadfast in my stead, alright? Do not fail me. Hopefully our efforts will keep our people safe. And if it all fails, we will still have done our duty, and die with no regrets.”

“I lay down my life for you. I shall not fail you.”

 


End file.
